Monday, January 14, 2008

Hmmm...

Okay, I know this is off-subject, but I need opinions. This is from my book, "The Chosen Ones". PLEASE tell me what you think. I can't decide to put symbolism, or have God directly mentioned in it. Any suggestions?

The familiar darkness washed over me. I despaired, as did my thoughts. Throbbing…my arm…ow! Where am I? I was afraid, and my arm hurt terribly. Seconds later my pain and fear evaporated as a blinding light eradicated the darkness. Then, a great Presence seemed to approach. Peace came over my entire body, and I relaxed. Then, the Presence, which to me seemed much like an angel, spoke.
“Elwyn of Naibara, fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, Elwyn, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
And then the vision faded. I came to...

The idea is that she just blacked out in this little cave, and then she has this vision and wakes up in a different world. It is confusing, but I like it. Her name is Elwyn (Ellie).
-Ellie

7 comments:

Zoe said...

Hmm... well... I'll think about it... maybe you could talk about God kinda like you did it that part and then reveal it more so as the book goes on. I don't know though...

Addie said...

I don't know but whatever you chose will be great. I personally am better at directly stating it. It is easier than finding symbolisms.

Zoe said...

Yep, I agree... Whatever you chose will be great. I like the symbolism idea though... it makes it interesting.

ellie said...

I think I'm am gonna do symbolism

Ellie said...

I am a lot better at directly stating it, but then again, I have never tried my hand at symbolism, so I might just be good at it.

Zoe said...

Cool!

Ellie said...

Yeah!

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